i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
