you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
