sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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