I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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