TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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