i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
