are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Alive.
So much puke
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
All I want is dick and wine.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
