I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
