If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
