I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I want her autograph on my taint
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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