i don't like sucking hair
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I would ride that face into the sunset
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
