I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
