I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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