Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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