my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Actions speak louder than pants.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
