sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
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well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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