her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Two words: blizzard sex
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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