Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just tell him i said nine months
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
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This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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