You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
