i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
