Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I don't deserve a penis
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
