Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
