just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize