I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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