I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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