Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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