she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hippo gnu deer
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
