Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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