im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
