At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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