Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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