apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it's like iHOP with fire
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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