I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize