I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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