I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
