you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
