Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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