I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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