I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
