one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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