he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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