We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
