So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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