Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
