hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
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Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
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You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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