But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
