Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
