I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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