dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
