Ambien. No doubt about it.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
