is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
