Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize