You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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