that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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