As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
