I don't usually arrange sex via text message
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
