There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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